Swine Flu

First of all I want to say thank you to the people that responded so apologetically to my last blog. Unfortunately the people that responded with such concern are not the ones I was "blogging" to but that was to be expected. I feel horrible that I had to write such an ugly post but I feel it was a long time in the making and it needed to be finally said. Please know that is not who I am or how I feel about 99.9% of the time. This year has been about healing and personal growth for me and that was all part of my recovery.

I haven't been in touch for awhile because its been one dramatic event after another but I just wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful new year. I know I am looking forward to mine. I am working on a fledgling business that I grow to love more and more. I am appreciating my new friends and family more and more and am so thankful for this healthy group of loving souls that cheer me on as I continue my journey. I look forward to continuing to work on not only healing but also to overcome what I see as personal flaws. I have come so far this year and hope my progress continues.

I am so thankful for the love I have in my life. Life is too short not to recognize and embrace the grace of others. I am indeed fortunate and hope all of you find and embrace as much grace in the universe as I have.

I just did not want the year to end on such an ugly note. As for the Swine Flu....well I got it...it was ugly but I've been sicker from the regular flu in the past. Like so many other things the news likes to blow out of proportion the swine flu is no different. Yes it is definitely something to be cautious with but it is no different then some of the other flus out there. So I feel pretty much back to normal mentally and physically.

Love to all of you

Lisa

To My Virginia "Friends" Back Home

Hello everyone. Long time no talk to to most of you. I have thought about all of you this summer and have gotten so melancholy thinking about what your friendships have meant to me over the years. Some of you I have known since I was 16 years old. You guys have seen me marry twice, have a child, raise that child, go to school and get my degree then to go on and teach then work at W&M. Most of you have been there for me and have cheered me on. I use to thank God for blessing me with such wonderful and meaningful friendships.

Then I learned who my really friends are and WOW!!! There are people back in Virginia that must hate me. So I'm thinking these people were nice to my face while stabbing me in the back. Then I thought hard again about all the under handed bullshit I had to put up with since I married David to begin with. Hell....maybe if I had had better fucking friends David and I would still be married. But who the fuck knows.

In the meantime...to those of you who have decided to start a big smear campaign to destroy what relationship David and I have left....well thanks and oh FUCK YOU!!! You know who you are and so do I so please...those of you who were actually my friends and have said nothing behind my back I apologize for this note. You know who you are as well and if I ever decide to come back to Virginia you will be the ones I visit....everyone else can go fuck themselves.

This petty, childish, hurtful shit is exactly why I became a drug addict then RAN to fucking Utah to get away from. What is your problem?? I mean most of you are my age or older and to be quite frank you people are PATHETIC!!! What the fuck did I ever do to you??? I was always so fucking nice to everyone unless you back stabbed me then I just avoided you. Are your lives so empty and pathetic you feel the need to spread the misery around??

Well thanks guys...it worked. It wasn't like David and I were going through enough pain. The added doses from all of you really topped off the pain and suffering.

I never did or said anything to anyone that I wouldn't have said in front of David. I never cheated on him and if I flirted it was in front of him or I told him about it. Tequila and other narcotics will make you do stuff you might not do sober...like dancing on bar tables and making out with girls. And the funny thing none of that made the gossip grapevine. No...just the mean nasty made up or very exaggerated stuff.

I cannot begin to tell you how much this hurts me but whatever. I don't know why I am even surprised. So Merry Fucking Christmas Mother Fuckers. Tis the season to fuck over more people and make their lives unbearable. No wonder I was suicidal...Jesus H. Christ!!! Oh he'd be so proud of all of you.

So for those of you that had it out for me and told David whatever you told him it hurt me yes...but most of you mean little to nothing to me. David however really was hurt like he hasn't suffered enough. Is this your way of making people feel better?? God all of you need so much therapy Dr. Phil could just set up shop there and be busy til the day he died.

Merry Fucking Christmas and Kiss my ass!!!!

To all my other my other nice friends who have a pulse Happy Holidays and I love you all.

Lisa