Thanksgiving Hike

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving weekend. I had a wonderful weekend. Ron and I went to a great Thanksgiving Dinner for the whole community that was free. It was put on by the Youth Garden Project and Wabi Sabi which a nonprofit group here in Moab. There were two lines; one for carnivores and the other for herbivores so I was safe eating in my new vegetarian state (about a year now).

This weekend I got together with Ron and my wonderful friends Rodger and Dana who are nurses here. I met them when I was working at The Peace Tree. We first went and saw some great petroglyphs that Ron knew about. They were pretty cool and included an owl.

After we found the owl we decided to go hiking up Moonflower trail to try and find a Mastodon Petroglyph Ron had been trying to find about a year. I frankly didn't believe it existed. This isn't an area you would expect to see any evidence of Mammoths but we all indulged Ron and

went on an adventure becaus

e it was a beautiful day and we were all just excited to be outside. So off we went and we saw many wonderful petroglyphs but no Mastodons. We found one canyon that had a very small waterfall remnant. I can't wait to see it during the rainy season here (we're in a desert so I use that term lightly).

From this picture you can see how vast and majestic this countryside is. If I went out every weekend to go hiking from now on I would probably not be able to see all there is here. But I'm going to die trying.

Here is that little waterfall and oasis we found. I'm thinking a great place to skinny dip!!

After a long hike with no Mastodon in site I thought I would take my new hiking boots and find an easy trail back down off the cliffs. I had Indigo the sweet dog walking with me and off I went. Well I discovered over and over everything ended off a cliff with no way to get down. After a while I noticed I was alone. No Indigo....no Dana....no Rodger....no Ron. Hmmmm. Okay so I realized I was on my own. Now mind you a mere few months ago I was terrified of heights and cliffs and rocks ....you get the picture but I'm feeling pretty brave in my new hiking boots so off I go. The only thing I was worried about was I figured Ron would be pretty worried about me. I finally found a jeep trail down and I walked the long way back to the car. On the way I looked over in a field and the three cutest Donkeys were following along beside me. So I stopped and made friends of course

.

These are the cutest faces!! The Donkeys...not Rodger and Dana...well actually they are pretty cute too!!!

Finally Ron came jogging up to the car. We found Rodger and Dana and went off to shovel banana splits in our gut.

The next day Ron and I went one more time to try and find that stupid Mastodon but now we had to find a Bear as well. Ron talks to locals at the coffee shop next door to my studio and they always have these tall tales of this and that. But I was fine because once again it was a beautiful day. After a fairly short hike there it was......the MASTODON!!! What the hell?? Maybe there were Mammoths down this far.Then when we were ready to give up on the Bear (yes I was a believer by this time) there the Bear was. These two petroglyphs are so unique in this area and

very exciting to see.

Reflecting on What I Am Thankful of

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I sit here so full from my dinner and am waking up from a food coma having coffee. Ron is next to me but on his way out. He's been on call this weekend (he is a psychotherapist) and he's had several calls. It just shows how many of us struggle during the holidays such as this one. I know I too have been there so many times and to be quite frank was terrified of this one. I am pleased to tell you that its been a wonderful day.

Ron wrote an article about the alarming trends in anti-depressants and the amount of people taking them. I being one of them. I always swore I would never go on them but eventually gave up the fight last year as suicide seemed to be looming ever closer at my door. I have wanted off them for a while now but my doctor here in Moab wants me to wait just a bit more than I will go off them gradually. With all the ups and downs and continued stress I am undergoing she just didn't feel it was safe.

I was wondering if Europeans or South Americans or Canadians had the same statistics about anti-depressants or is this a North American phenomena. I know our health system has become a legal drug pusher program. Doctors don't even touch you anymore or look in your nose or anything. They sit down in front of their computer screens and print out a prescription without making eye contact anymore. Is is like that all over the world or is it just here?

As I read what Ron wrote he basically brought up ideas on how to move past the saddens and embrace the wonder of life. I have been learning to do that for the first time this summer and I love it. Don't get me wrong...I oftentimes suck at it. For those of you that know me know I can be a bit doom and gloom at times because lets face it....thats just been my life experience. But reading what he wrote made me think on my life and for the first time in my life ever I really feel blessed and am beginning to love who I am. Yeah...I know I'm weird and attract strange people in my life and have weird taste on almost everything but I am who I am and I'm beginning to see that its not such a bad thing. I add color to this already very colorful town called Moab and that suits me just fine. I don't even stick out.

I have been reflecting the last week on what is really important to me. I find prestige and affluence is not super important. As long as I can pay my bills without having to have my mother help me out all the time would be super great. That is coming more and more. So instead I am very thankful for my mother. She has sacrificed countless hours of sleep worrying about me this summer and all the help she has had to give me. Two such huge examples of that is she paid for my gall bladder surgery and then she invested in my business and has supported me until I could support myself. I hope one day I can make all of this up to her. I try to tell her I see all she does and I am so appreciative but I will never be able to express to her what that support has meant to me.

I am thankful for my daughter who is my best friend. She and I have been through so much together and have learned and grown and fucked up together so much. We've never really been mother and daughter. Sisters is more like it but sometimes shes my mom and sometimes I'm hers. Sometimes its love/hate and sometimes its a love that is indescribable. I am proud of her for surviving the adversity life has continue to throw at her. She has grown into a beautiful woman with a fabulous future in front of her in the world of Culinary Arts. She is beautiful, intelligent and the funniest person I know and I know she puts on a tough act but her heart is three times too big and she does what she has to to protect it.

I am thankful for my Ron. He is one of the most intriguing and genuine people I have ever met. He has forced me to be honest about myself to myself and to him. We love our time together just sitting and reading, talking, driving or hiking. I could just gaze into his eyes all day and I love to make him smile. I have never felt so loved and safe in my whole life. Since we have come to know each other I have been able to wrap his love around me like a warm safe cocoon and I have blossomed under his care. I can't imagine how I survived this long without him. Its funny though since I have met him I am stronger now than ever. Anyway this kind of love and bond is as close to unconditional love as one could ever hope to find.

I could write for hours on all that I am thankful for but those are the big ones and for the first time since I was 7 years old I can say I am really happy. Genuinely and truly happy. I hope all of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving and can look around you as I have done and find yourself surrounded with love and peace.

Love Lisa

A Long Hard Summer

I thought I would write a brief synopsis on what I have been up to. I think most of you know I have been heading for the mid life crisis of the century for quite some time. Well I found it June 13th and have been pretty much been dealing with the ups and downs of that decision for quite sometime.
I left my marriage of 12 years. That was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done but I want everyone to know (and this is really important) I didn't do it to hurt David. I did it to save me. He and I are still good friends and living with the pain I have put him through is something I struggle with daily.
I have struggled with depression and all that went with it for years and I pretty much had decided the burden of living was just too much. I planned my final act of checking out when just hours before I was going to do it a friend called and offered to talk. That saved my life and I have never been more sure about living than I am now. I just needed to see life from a new perspective and I for once needed to put me first and do what I needed and wanted to do. Unfortunately the "needs"and "wants" aren't alwys so clear.
Okay so I live in Moab and I have just started my own grooming business called Holistic Pet Grooming Studio. I do Animal Reiki and Dog Training as well and I love it. Its so nice to be working with animals again because anyone that knows me knows I love animals and I pretty much think people suck for the most part.
The sad thing is I lost Elliot (my beloved gelding) the end of August two days before I lost gall bladder. Of course this was after I was told I had a lump in my left breast. Something that I need to keep an eye they said. Two weeks before I opened my business I lost my best friend Alexandra the Greatest. I don't think I recovered from these losses yet and I'm not sure when I will be okay again.
In the meantime I have made wonderful friends here in Moaband have a wonderful man in m life. That very friend that saved my life early in the summer. His name is Ron and he has given me a new lease on life.
For now that is what I have but you will hear from me daily as I continue my journey for better or worse.

Today I am grateful for Ron.
Today I am grateful I hve such a bond with animals.
Today I am grateful I am still breathing.