Lisa Speaks out

I wanted to start a blog where I could be completely me...completely unleashed. I don't want to watch what I say here. Now mind you I'm a 42 year old woman that has been through it all and seen it all and is now completely jaded, cynical and at times way too blunt. So if you are one of those people that gets easily offended stop right here and go away.
I am a sweet person in all aspects but I have been fucked over so many times I have developed an attitude and sometimes I have a hard time "faking it".
For instance I am so incredibly glad that idiot in office is no longer in office...what a fucking moron. I say good riddance and now maybe our country, our planet has a chance. Now whats the big deal you say? A lot of people weren't crazy about our last president but I live in Blanding, Utah. Barack Obama is the devil here. The town practically put up black bows everywhere. I had to boycott our local paper because the owner expressed his personal views and it was the most biased piece of shit I have every read. He basically called me and people like me losers and morons. He expressed his distaste for anyone who cares about the environment. He said anybody that's a democrat, from California that is an environmentalist are not worthy to breathe the air of this town. Ummmm that is me.
I work at a place called The Peace Tree. We wanted to put signs up supporting Obama but we knew we would be run out of town so we very quietly celebrated. I've heard the White House called the Black House.....COME ON!!!! What year its it anyway?
I also have very strong views on animal welfare and what I feel the most strongly about is how the media portrays women. I have struggled with my identity as a woman since I was born. Staunch Christians that I have known say that if God had to rescue just one person and there was a man and a woman he'd have to take the man because woman is here just for mans amusement. I have watched little girls trying to sex themselves up because that is all their self worth is based on. I love the new Dove commercials because they show real women. Beautiful, real women. I saw an interview of Cyndi Crawford years ago. When asked how she looked so beautiful Cyndi calmly replied "Hell I wish I looked as good as they make me look. If you think I look like this in the morning you are crazy".
Why isn't any woman beautiful? There is so much more to us than our looks.
Okay so this is just to get this blog off the ground running. I will have so much more to say. Here I can vent in my sharp witted way and think how therapeutic that will be. I keep my mouth shut so much but only my husband knows how fast the mind races. I have holes in my tongue from biting it.
But I have a wonderful view of life at times too. These insights are just a big a part of me as my sarcasm.
I'm nobody special...just a girl or woman that is tired of taking it quietly. So many people don't want to hear the good, the bad and the ugly. Well I want to share it all...all of me...every last bit of Lisa. In the meantime I will actually learn stuff about myself. I admit...I have been freaking out since I turned 40. Its a midlife crisis from hell without the cheating, big jewelry or red sports car. I don't even really know who I am yet. I wish I could see myself through my husbands eyes or my friends eyes or my parents eyes. How do I seem? Do I make faces while I'm thinking? How do I really feel about certain things...most people don't think to ask me...but those that do always get a good answer even if its not the one they want to hear.
In other words...life it toooooo short. I want to know me by the time I die. Life flies by and its so scary. Will I have a chance to put my stamp on the world?
George Bush Sr said in his inauguration speech that a thousand points of light could light up the world. If one person holds up a candle flame its hard to see...but if everyone held up just a tiny little flame the world would glow. I want to make a difference somehow and in someway.; I'm not fussy how really as long as it helped somehow. So I have to begin somewhere....I'm holding up my tiny little flame. I can't control the world but I can control me and what I do so this is it. I have no idea where this will take me or us (for the poor souls that will be reading this) but it will be a fun ride nonetheless. I look forward to your comments and opinions. This is a place where everyone has a right to think and feel the way they want to . No one is wrong and no one is right. This is like college and a meeting of the minds. I would love those long arguments I would have with my professors on evolution and animal behavior. Even if the professor didn't agree with me he listened and respected my opinion.
I will see you tomorrow....by the way I am PMSing so that maybe why I sound so bitchy tonight. It will be interesting to read my posts and to see if anyone can tell what time of the month it is for me just by reading my crap. I KNOW!!! This is like science....but its me I'm putting under the microscope. Brilliant!!!
Love to all
Lisa

I am thankful I live in a country where there is free speech.
I am thankful for my computer.
I am thankful my daughter loves school.

I think mean people suck.
I think my daughters boyfriend really sucks.
I think the cost of health insurance in this country sucks.